Breakin' the law! Breakin' the law!

As some of you may know, Isaac and I spent last weekend in Singapore, otherwise known as the country where everything is illegal.  You may remember some time in the 90s that some kid got caned in Singapore for vandalism.  I believe caning is still practiced in Singapore as a punishment for certain crimes and since Isaac and I have never been caned (thanks a lot Mom!), we decided to try to do as many illegal things as possible so we could experience the joy of caning.  Also, it would liven up our blog.  No one cares about the cobra anymore.  *sigh.  You people expect too much!  We still love you!  So, without further delay, here is a chronicle of all of the things we did that were illegal in Singapore.  Please PLEASE, don't try this at home.  I think in America the punishments are far worse for these crimes.  You may even be deported to Canada!  *shudder

Eh!

1.  Pay less than $10 for a beer  Actually we paid $9 and that was the happy hour price.  Ok, so we didn't actually break the law because we paid for our beers BUT we weren't happy about it and I think that complaining about $9 HAPPY HOUR beer is illegal so BOOM!  We are so dangerous!  BANGKOK dangerous!  Hahahahahahahaha!  Ok not funny.  Moving on.

2.  Chewing gum You can't find chewing gum in Singapore ANYWHERE and as a gum addict I HAD to have some so I brought my own!  TAKE THAT!  I only chewed gum on the first night on the way back from the airport but I was extra annoying and blew bubbles to challenge authority because that's how I roll!  Are you scared?  You should be!  I can totally understand the rationale behind outlawing gum.  I mean, gum is known as the gateway candy.  It starts with gum.  Then before you know it, it's cigarette gum!  And the next thing you know you're waking up in a pool of your own vomit because you've been snorting pixie sticks and mixing pop rocks and diet soda!  The world can be a very scary place for us addicts.  Wow I could write a book about this!  I'll call it "A Million Little Reese's Pieces".  Maybe Oprah will endorse it even though her show is over.  I'm pretty sure she will.

3. Spitting  This is just gross, and I totally approve of this law, but Isaac had to do it. We were drinking slurpees and Isaac said they were too sweet so he needed to spit the excess sugar.  Definitely understandable.  At least it wasn't as bad as that time in high school when Katie had a cold in the winter and decided to spit a green lougie out the window in Paul Farrell's front yard.  It totally froze to the spot and we could still see it there for like 2 weeks!  Sick, katie!  You would DEFINITELY be caned in Singapore for that.  I think they do DNA testing on all street spit to find the perps.  Good thing we left the country right after Isaac spit!

This is pre-spit.  He is overwhelmed by sweetness!  You'd think he'd be used to it after almost 2 years of marriage to me!  

4. Taking your shirt off in public:  If you know Isaac, you know that he cannot be expected to leave his shirt on for more than 20 minutes at a time.  Especially when he's getting his picture taken.  Nothing says classy like a shirtless pose next to a merlion!  The asian tourists behind us really seemed to enjoy it.  I think we JUST missed the police raid for shirtless pedestrians.  So close!

 

5. Playing cards or having fun at restaurants: Isaac and I love to compete at most things but, particularly at the game Skipbo.  We find that we run out of conversation topics and Skipbo makes it ok to not talk.  Also it's good practice for losing graciously, not that either of us needs practice at this *cough cough ISAAC.  Whew I must have an allergy to something.  Anyhoo so we were at the fine family establishment of Hooters and proceeded to start a family game of Skipbo when the waitress informed us that we couldn't play cards there.  I can only guess that it is ILLEGAL and at any moment Hooters would have been overrun by police trying to bust us for playing a game.  Then what kind of a reputation would Hooters have?!  I shudder to think!  Good thing she stopped us from destroying their wholesome image.  It was also nice to pay $70 for a dinner of chicken wings and a salad.  I think it was the cheapest restaurant on the island.

6. Getting free drink refills on non-alcoholic bevs:  This is pretty much true for any place outside of the U.S. but that doesn't mean that it is any less frustrating!  One of the things I miss the most about America is the never ending soda at restaurants.  Oh right, and I miss my family too.  Sorry Mom!  :) 

  *sigh.  If only we COULD have broken this law.  Alas, we could not.  Don't worry though, when I got thirsty I just drank my spit.  mmmmm foamy!

Me swallowing my spit.  Refreshing!

7. Paying less than $100 for a hotel room AND getting a window: Seriously, the last time I stayed in Singapore I had to stay in a hostel and share a bathroom and STILL didn't have a window in my room!  This time we splurged and actually stayed in a private room in a real hotel!  We even had our own shower right over the toilet.  This place was CLASSY.  But, we should have known that it is illegal to have a room with a window unless you spend AT LEAST $150/night.  Oh well.  Who needs to know what time of the day it is anyway?  This way we slept until about 10 am every day and had no idea!  It was great!

Look how well rested we look after inadvertently sleeping the day away in our windowless room!  Notice the plethora of rooms with windows.  None of those rooms were ours.  :(

8. Holding snakes that are smaller than 10 feet long:  No, this isn't really a law in Singapore but it's the only way I could excuse showing this amazing photo of Isaac at the zoo!  It pays to be the only foreigners in the audience at the night safari....................and to be really obnoxious and loud in the front row until you are picked to go on stage.  Worth it!

Please don't hurt me, sir, I let you get on stage!

The cobra in our kitchen was MUCH bigger.

9.  Not recycling: Even otters recycle in Singapore!

Ok so I wish I had 1 more things to write about to make a top 10 list, but I don't.  And let's be honest, you're sick of reading this blog anyway and are ready to get to really important things like washing your socks.  I totally understand. 

Oh yeah and just so you know, we never did get caned for breaking the law in Singapore.  I guess we'll have to deal with that.  I'm sure someone will want to cane us later in life.  Here's hoping!

Here are some more random pics of our trip!