The Jerk at a Party...What do you do?

Every man or woman has been in a situation where they are forced to be around someone who is unbelievably unpleasant.  In almost every case, the best way to handle this is to shut up and get out of there as quick as possible.  There are of course exceptions to this rule.  This is the story of one of those times.

But first, a little back story. Last year, I went to play golf after school one day with some guys from work.  We ended up having eight guys which meant two groups of four.  For those of you who have never golfed in Thailand, it is pretty much a five hour affair.  This outing was no different, which meant that playing partners were of critical importance.  I was matched up with my buddy Steve (see two blogs entries ago for a picture) and two other gentlemen.  Scratch that, one other gentleman and one, uh, lets just call him Turd Sandwich from this point on.  Turd Sandwich made is cocky presence known immediately by announcing that he would tee off first and would not be relinquishing those honors (in golf, if you do the best on a hole, you go first on the next hole).  So far, nothing too terrible about that.  Cocky, yes, but its a boys outing, I can handle that.

There is no real way to describe exactly what was said that rubbed me the wrong way, but I assure, I was not the only one.  Maybe it was consistently commenting about the caddies (all female) and what he would do to them or what he had done in the past.  Mind you, this is a 50 year old man with a wife and kid.  Whatever it was, Steve and I both agreed that it was the most unpleasant round of golf either of us had ever experienced.  We also decided that it was not worth doing again.  Can you believe that!  I was actually agreeing that I would rather not play if it meant playing with this guy.

When I got home, I even felt compelled to tell Becky about Turd Sandwich and just how unpleasant he was.  The rest of the year past and I didn't see him again.  Even though we work at the same school technically, it is very easy to just miss people due to the size of the campus and the school in general. I don't believe I have ever run into Turd at school.

Fast forward to last Friday night and a party that was being thrown by a few people from school.  Things started off innocently enough with Becky and I mingling and having a good time with friends.  Fortunately for this story, it didn't stay innocent for long.

I found myself in a room sitting with Turd Sandwich and another guy.  I was doing a good job of shutting up and I was planning on getting out of there soon while Turd was showing off his knowledge of Thailand.  Once again, its hard to describe, but few people would have thought this an enjoyable conversation.  It was quite the opposite.  He is the kind of guy that belittles everyone around him to make himself feel better. Still, I was refraining from comment.  

Then other guy, a golfer who knew I went to the US Open this summer, asked excitedly about the experience.  I began to tell about different things I saw and what my job was as a volunteer and what jobs the rest of the guys who went had.  The only problem was that Turd Sandwich kept interjecting with ridiculous questions that he knew I was about to answer.  He was cutting me off to ask a question that I was literally about to answer...and he knew it.  That is the kind of guy this is.  Turd Sandwich is, well, a turd sandwich, with a side of jerk sauce.

About three or four minutes in, the three of us were interrupted by someone leaving the party.  As soon as we said goodbye, the other guy once again excitedly asked me to continue the story and as I started, Turd Sandwich butted in again.

At that moment, something in me snapped.

I turned to Turd and the following dialogue took place.

Me -  "Listen, I am about to answer your question, but you need to stop being a d**k." (This was actually said pretty calmly.)

Turd - "Well hurry up and tell it then."

Me - "You need to stop being a d**k.  You know exactly what you are doing."

Turd - "Well you are being boring..."

Me - I stand up and say "F you.  Other guy, if you want to finish talking, I would love to have this conversation some other time." and I turn to leave the room.

Turd - To me, "You know maybe..."

Me - Turning "YEAH, mayBE.  But...maybe you are a d**khead and maybe everyone feels that way."

Yikes.  

I walked into the other room and announced to the group (about six people) that "that guy is a d**khead!".  As they "shhhhh" me, I said, "It's OK, I already told him.  He's a jerk."  They group silently agreed that was indeed the case and a few congratulatory handshakes came my way.

A few more people came up to me the rest of the night and let me know that it was like I was telling Turd Sandwich off for them as well.  I felt good.  It was the highlight of my week.  I told a friend from home the story and this is what they said, "Thats the kind of thing that you want to do you entire life and never actually get to do."  I felt the same way.

But...

Did I do the right thing here?  It would have been just as easy for me to just walk away and not say anything.  I could have done that.  I recently thought about how I might react to this if I saw two students have a similar confrontation.  I would probably try to help the Turd student see that they way they were behaving encouraged the behavior of the second.  I would probably let the Me student know that while the Turd student was being a jerk, they can't just call them names and storm off.  Of course, neither of us are children and maybe Turd Sandwich needed to finally hear someone tell him that he is a jerk instead of just putting up with his stuff.

I will say that I feel pretty empowered though.  If I were to go play golf again and he be there, I would just come out and say, "I'm not playing with this guy because he is a jerk."  I would say it to him.  Isn't that cool? Or childish?

So I ask you a question blog readers.  Did I do the right thing here?  Have you ever been in this situation and done the same or wanted to?  Thoughts?

I await your comments...