The Jerk at a Party...What do you do?

Every man or woman has been in a situation where they are forced to be around someone who is unbelievably unpleasant.  In almost every case, the best way to handle this is to shut up and get out of there as quick as possible.  There are of course exceptions to this rule.  This is the story of one of those times.

But first, a little back story. Last year, I went to play golf after school one day with some guys from work.  We ended up having eight guys which meant two groups of four.  For those of you who have never golfed in Thailand, it is pretty much a five hour affair.  This outing was no different, which meant that playing partners were of critical importance.  I was matched up with my buddy Steve (see two blogs entries ago for a picture) and two other gentlemen.  Scratch that, one other gentleman and one, uh, lets just call him Turd Sandwich from this point on.  Turd Sandwich made is cocky presence known immediately by announcing that he would tee off first and would not be relinquishing those honors (in golf, if you do the best on a hole, you go first on the next hole).  So far, nothing too terrible about that.  Cocky, yes, but its a boys outing, I can handle that.

There is no real way to describe exactly what was said that rubbed me the wrong way, but I assure, I was not the only one.  Maybe it was consistently commenting about the caddies (all female) and what he would do to them or what he had done in the past.  Mind you, this is a 50 year old man with a wife and kid.  Whatever it was, Steve and I both agreed that it was the most unpleasant round of golf either of us had ever experienced.  We also decided that it was not worth doing again.  Can you believe that!  I was actually agreeing that I would rather not play if it meant playing with this guy.

When I got home, I even felt compelled to tell Becky about Turd Sandwich and just how unpleasant he was.  The rest of the year past and I didn't see him again.  Even though we work at the same school technically, it is very easy to just miss people due to the size of the campus and the school in general. I don't believe I have ever run into Turd at school.

Fast forward to last Friday night and a party that was being thrown by a few people from school.  Things started off innocently enough with Becky and I mingling and having a good time with friends.  Fortunately for this story, it didn't stay innocent for long.

I found myself in a room sitting with Turd Sandwich and another guy.  I was doing a good job of shutting up and I was planning on getting out of there soon while Turd was showing off his knowledge of Thailand.  Once again, its hard to describe, but few people would have thought this an enjoyable conversation.  It was quite the opposite.  He is the kind of guy that belittles everyone around him to make himself feel better. Still, I was refraining from comment.  

Then other guy, a golfer who knew I went to the US Open this summer, asked excitedly about the experience.  I began to tell about different things I saw and what my job was as a volunteer and what jobs the rest of the guys who went had.  The only problem was that Turd Sandwich kept interjecting with ridiculous questions that he knew I was about to answer.  He was cutting me off to ask a question that I was literally about to answer...and he knew it.  That is the kind of guy this is.  Turd Sandwich is, well, a turd sandwich, with a side of jerk sauce.

About three or four minutes in, the three of us were interrupted by someone leaving the party.  As soon as we said goodbye, the other guy once again excitedly asked me to continue the story and as I started, Turd Sandwich butted in again.

At that moment, something in me snapped.

I turned to Turd and the following dialogue took place.

Me -  "Listen, I am about to answer your question, but you need to stop being a d**k." (This was actually said pretty calmly.)

Turd - "Well hurry up and tell it then."

Me - "You need to stop being a d**k.  You know exactly what you are doing."

Turd - "Well you are being boring..."

Me - I stand up and say "F you.  Other guy, if you want to finish talking, I would love to have this conversation some other time." and I turn to leave the room.

Turd - To me, "You know maybe..."

Me - Turning "YEAH, mayBE.  But...maybe you are a d**khead and maybe everyone feels that way."

Yikes.  

I walked into the other room and announced to the group (about six people) that "that guy is a d**khead!".  As they "shhhhh" me, I said, "It's OK, I already told him.  He's a jerk."  They group silently agreed that was indeed the case and a few congratulatory handshakes came my way.

A few more people came up to me the rest of the night and let me know that it was like I was telling Turd Sandwich off for them as well.  I felt good.  It was the highlight of my week.  I told a friend from home the story and this is what they said, "Thats the kind of thing that you want to do you entire life and never actually get to do."  I felt the same way.

But...

Did I do the right thing here?  It would have been just as easy for me to just walk away and not say anything.  I could have done that.  I recently thought about how I might react to this if I saw two students have a similar confrontation.  I would probably try to help the Turd student see that they way they were behaving encouraged the behavior of the second.  I would probably let the Me student know that while the Turd student was being a jerk, they can't just call them names and storm off.  Of course, neither of us are children and maybe Turd Sandwich needed to finally hear someone tell him that he is a jerk instead of just putting up with his stuff.

I will say that I feel pretty empowered though.  If I were to go play golf again and he be there, I would just come out and say, "I'm not playing with this guy because he is a jerk."  I would say it to him.  Isn't that cool? Or childish?

So I ask you a question blog readers.  Did I do the right thing here?  Have you ever been in this situation and done the same or wanted to?  Thoughts?

I await your comments...

Volleyban

Sometimes in Bangkok, it is easy to get into a rut of doing the same old thing.  The biggest reason behind this is the lack of information that is published in English.  Finding new and fun things to do can be a real challenge at times which is why its important to jump at the opportunities we get.

Last Saturday, our friends Rachel and Ryan informed us that the Volleyball World Grand Prix was happening in Bangkok.  Trying to heed the advice of Mr. John Keating, we decided to seize the day and join the Kirchner's for some volleyban action! (In Thailand, "L's" become "N's": volleyball=volleyban; softball=softban).

OK, I promise that I will not write a play by play of a volleyball match, but I will give you my personal highlight.  When the U.S. Team came out to a thunderous applause of four people (us) I noticed something that sent my heart aflutter.  Right now, you might be asking yourself, "What could possibly send Isaac's heart aflut...Ohhhhh, it must be something about Texas A&M."  Well guess what, you are correct!

As soon as the warm-ups came off and I saw the name on the back of the jerseys I saw "Sykora" and immediately turned to Becky and said, "I know #5, thats Stacy Sykora.  She's and Aggie!" I was of course excited and shared this with a slightly creeped out Rachel and Ryan.  I quickly turned into/stayed overeager Aggie man and yelled "Gig 'em".  Unfortunately, Stacy couldn't hear us from way up in the cheap seats (actually, it was free, so they were all cheap).

Team USA on the left. Sykora in white (libero).

Needless, to say, they volleyball match was enthralling.  To fully appreciate how exciting it was, I included a hidden video of Becky during one of the points.  I assure, this was about the most calm she was the entire match.  Now you know what it is like when we watch a Michigan football game on TV...only less happiness.

She seriously did not know I was filming.  I was trying to capture her essence.  Sorry about the sideways view.

At the end of the match, a dominating U.S. victory in three straight sets, we went down closer to the court to say Howdy to Aggie Legend Stacy Sykora.  We shouted a "Gig 'em Stacy" and she gave a wave and Gig 'em back.

I love Texas A&M.

Summer in Review

Well, we are back in Bangkok and its time for a little summer in review. Summer is a great time of year. It is a time to refresh and, for us, reconnect with friends and family. I find that the number of friends I see when I return dwindles each year. The theory on this is basically that people think the following:

• Summer One "Wow, Isaac, tell me about all your travels!"
• Summer Two "I thought you were coming back after two years. Seriously, what going on? Thailand?"
• Summer Three "Isaac who?"

OK, maybe its not that bad, but I think people lose interest and move on with their lives. When Becky and I come back from summer, I feel like Mel Gibson. Not the racist crazy Mel but the Mel from Forever Young. The only real differnce is that everyone I know is not dead.

On to the fun stuff.

Summer started off in Chicago. Becky is crazy, in a good way, when it comes to getting stuff done so we had to get ALL of our shopping done in the first two days of being back. This is in severe contrast to my style which would have had me running around like crazy the last few days trying to get everything I need. Actually, I still had to do this for the stuff Becky didn't make me buy early. When will I learn?

We checked out the Stanley Cup Parade for the Blackhawks!

After a week in Chicago, I left for the United States Open of golf while Becky stay in Chicago to go to Jesse and Luis' wedding in Ann Arbor.

Justin and I with the U.S. Open Trophy.

 We met in San Francisco to have treats. I only ate Ricearoni, it was delicious.

 We left San Francisco and made a stop in wine country. Everyone was really impressed with our knowledge of wine.

As you can see, we really knew what we were doing.

Biking and photography don't mix. The sacrifices I make for this blog.

After a couple of nights in Napa, we continued our way up the coast towards Oregon. We drove through the Avenue of the Giants to see the Redwoods and then up to Crater Lake in Oregon.  

Someone getting creative with orange peel.  Found while hiking near Mendocino.  

Crater Lake, Oregon

Awesome!

Steve, a counselor from our school, convinced us that a stay in Bend, Oregon was in order. He was absolutely correct and he was a great tour guide.  First we had some business that we had to take care of our first night in Bend...the business of love. It was our one year anniversary. The year one gift is paper and Becky suprised me with a lovely Charmin two-ply. A very practical gift, I loved it. Here we are at dinner at the supposed best steakhouse in Bend on the Deschutes River.

Bend has a ton of brewery's and Steve took us on a tour with his son Adam after a day of tubing on the Deshutes River.

Despite my appearance, this was stop number one and beer number one.

I have a much better picture of Adam and Steve, but I thought this captured the moment.

 The next day we explored Smith Rocks State Park before heading to a minor league baseball game that night.

Monkey Face Rock...can you see it?

The other side of Monkey Face and some crazy dudes.

From Bend, we headed to our final road trip destination - Portland. But not without driving the senic route.

Stopping to pick some strawberries.

Kite surfing is apparently a huge deal on the Columbia River. 

Thanks to Dave and Gloria Mendy (Scott's Parents - Scott husband of Katie sister of Becky), we had a place to stay our first night in Portland as we dicided to come a day early.

The reason for going to Portland was a big fat Korean wedding, kinda. Friends from Korea wedding, not a real Korean wedding. Sarah and Jonathan Webster, or Sqweebs, kindly invited us to be a part of thier day/weekend and it was a blast. It was especially great to catch up with old friends.

Soju shots for everyone.  A Korean tradition.

Ryan playing an 80's relic at the rehearsal dinner.

How accidents happen. Becky and Kristi try to kill Batman.

The real reason Bruce Wayne wears a mask.

A homeless guy in Portland.  A common sight...except it ME.  Tricked you.  Seriously, it was cold so Becky and I borrowed the robes from our hotel on the 4th of July.  

 We headed out Monday, thanks again to Dave and Gloria who took us around Portland then out to lunch before dropping us off at the airport. They were really great! Finally, they moment I was really looking forward to had arrived. Thats right, I was back in the Great State of Texas!

We got to stay with Adam Glenn and his wife Kimber and they really made us feel at home. Some other highlights were a trip to Austin/San Marcos where we got to see Katie and Jarred Brazeal, Ben Raley and Mike and Erin Johnson. We also got to hang out with my parents and with my brother Joel who going to school in College Station.

 Another highlight was getting to check out my brother Matt's new golf course. He is the head pro at The Cliffs Resort on Possom Kingdom Lake. Matt, my Dad, and I golfed while Becky, Rebecca (Matt's wife) and my mom rode. I think I permanantly scarred her into never going golfing with me again. She said she doesn't like to see me that angry, and thats after years of improvement. I don't even think I threw a club! Anyway, I blame the course, it was the hardest I have ever played, and one of the most beautiful.

Matt and I, not at The Cliffs. We decided to play this cheap course the next day.

 Thanks to Justin Strickland, we went to a couple of FIRST PLACE Texas Rangers baseball games. Justin currently has season tickets to the Rangers, Yankees and Nationals. He has a sickness.

The last hoorah was a day at the zoo with my Mom, Becky and my Nephew Skye. Unfortunaly, Adam (Skye's Daddy) is on the DL with some herniated discs, so he couldn't join us.

Going to the zoo with a two year old is great birth control.

My Mom, Nana and Skye.

We had to eat the wedding cake a bit late, but we did it. Still tasty. 

Sadly, out time in Texas was at an end and it was back to Chicago. Kings of Leon was the first order of business. It was an awesome concert that turned into a big mudslide when the heavens open up the flood gates.

"Oooooooohhhhhhhh, their stage is on fire"

 Our last weekend in America saw Justin Strickland make a special Chicago visit just to see his favorite couple. We started things off right at a Chicago White Sox game. A special guest appearance was made by Texas Aggie Class of '04 Michelle Rivera. It was great to catch up after about six years.

Melissa, Becky, Michelle, Justin, Isaac

 Another big item on the summer agenda was Becky, Katie and Dr. Kyle running in the Chicago Rock and Roll Half Marathon. Becky and Katie Rocked it in right at 2:00 hours. Dr. Kyle was right behind them. 

Becky in blue.

Cheering on the girls.

Scott, Katie's husband couldn't come due to a nasty broken leg. Justin tried to fill in.

He couldn't handle the pressue though.

Trying in vain to get the anti chaffing gel to work AFTER the race.

That's a good Dad: Notre Dame Alum wearing the Michigan hat.

 Later that day Justin, Becky and I went to the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. My favorite quote of the day was from first time OmniMax viewer Justin when he said will all sincrerety, "Why don't we watch all movies this way?" That, Justin, is a fabulous question. 

I love Becky's face in this picture.

Mind battle at the Museum.  Who could relax the most.  Shocking the world, Justin won.

You might be thinking right now, "Wow, Becky is a trouper. Running a half-marathon and then going to the museum all day!" Well, you would be right, she is a trouper. In fact, she is so awesome, that after the museum, we when to meet with a big group for some deep dish at Girordano's. The guest of honor were (Korea friends) Kristi and Jason and his kids Connor and Sinead. 

Kristi, Sinead, Jason, Conner, Isaac, Becky, Justin, Emily, Melissa

 We met Kristi and Jason the next day for a Cubs game. They lost 18-1. Way to go Cubbies. 

That about does it. A whole summer of recap. If this is your first blog reading, I assure you, they are usually much funnier than this. There is only so much you can do when you have to summarize. The good news is that we are getting back into a groove which means more regular blogging. Until then.

 Love, iBeck